Dear Diary — May

Wow, just had a pretty full on weekend in Amsterdam, I'll put a somewhat censored page up soon.

We went there via train and ferry and I have to say a great big FU<K YOU to the immigration management that work the ferry terminal on the UK end. How can you justify putting ONE Person on the immigration desk when a full boat load (i.e. hundreds, if not a thousand people) come in. I was at the front of the queue (about two dozen people from the front) and it took about 20 mins until I got to the front!

Ahh, and bless the young lady who was the only one working the desk (with several people standing around watching her). She would personally interview each person for at least a minute. The most classic line was to Richard, when she asked "So... how did you get your ancestorary visa?". You really have to bite your bottom lip pretty bloody hard to prevent yourself verbally biitch slapping a ***** like that who's in a position of power...

Ahh, isn't it cool how the little things in life can make ya happy, like this morning, my commute went really smoothly, arrived at all the platforms at perfect times, rock on up to coffee kiosk and dude who works there knows exactly what I want, only need to say gyday to him (sorta guy who says, "no worries, pay me tomorrow" when there isn't enough time for him to break a bill due to train turning up).

It's Friday, got a set of seats to myself on the train, sounds pumping away from the iPod, reading the metro, sipping a perfectly made Laté, munching on a croissant, thinking all's good with the world... Nice way to start a working day.

I have to admit, it was rather amusing. Was someone collecting for male nut cancer and reminding people to check regularly. So I'll do my bit and encourage all of you out there reading this to grab ya balls and have a feel. If you don't have any, grab someone else's, I'm sure they won't mind, it's for their own good! Put them onto me if they complain and I'll slap them around.

How on freaken EARTH does a movie called Gayniggers from Outer Space ever get made? Apparently it's a movie about intergalactic explorers who eliminate all females on Earth and leave behind a gay ambassador. I don't think I could've made up a description like that.

Has anyone ever seen this move? Chris, what about you? :-)

I think I'll try and make a movie called "Straighthonkies from Earth" just to see if I can get that idea published...

Wow, if you have ever wanted to own your own real life, honest to God castle then here's your chance!

My parents are selling their castle on trademe.co.nz. You'll have to provide your own knights to protect it, but I'm sure they can provide a few names of people to hire... likewise with the boiling oil...

You can see Darrell, Andrew, Kent, Craig along the top and me, Stu and Karin along the bottom. Wow, my hair really kicked ass when I had it! Damn we looked staunch...

Wow, so American's are NOT gonna execute "Moussaoui"  (he's only missing an "e" in his name to make a full collection of vowels) for the 11/9 destruction of the twin towers. That astounds me. I'll have to re-think my attitude that American's are all gun-ho, shoot first and ask questions later.

Personally, I'm glad "MoussAEIOU" (there fixed his name) isn't to be sentenced to death, a) Because if he is, he's just thinking he's off to screw 72 virgins and b) Getting butt-fu<ked by Bubba and Randy in prison for the rest of his life is gonna be a hell of a lot worse than a quick death (in my heterosexual way of thinking, anyway). Also c) as a wise Craig once told me, killing a person is revenge, not punishment. A civilised society should punish, not go down to a killers level...