Crazy and I flew down to Christchurch along with a bunch of the other boys to take Stu out on his Stag do. At the airport we gave Stu his shirt:
On the back of it were a list of tasks that Stu had to do and we had to help him with. We managed to do them all, plus a few extras we added on the night :-) Stu even managed to get a few hot chicks to sign his shirt (the ones who gave him the condom, see the video...) and scored a number:
We had a freaken awesome day, starting off with a surf at the beach with a rousing game of beach cricket:
...before we took off for some paintball action. That was brilliant as well, especially how the day ended. We played a game of all on all and the last people left were Stu and I. We where both on either side of a shed next to all the guys just out of play watching. After sticking the guns around the corner at each other and letting off a few rounds I decided to run around the shed the other way and come up on Stu from behind. Just as I rounded the corner where Stu was he decide to bend right over and run towards where he thought I was... Needless to say I had the perfect target to pop off literally the last paintball I had in my gun, right in front of all the other guys. Here was the result, I'm quite proud of myself!
After a few relaxing beers back at Stu's place...
The real fun of the night began. Here's Chris, Stu's Dad, Stu, Craig, Kent, me, Cullen and Luke and Malcolm (Stu's brothers) starting our night off at the Grumpy Mole. Crazy took the pic:
Stu went about almost immediately on doing the tasks on his shirt, here he is doing something embarrassing by running around a busy intersection wearing only his undies (also on the video):
Doing the tasks on the shirt actually made the night even more fun than it would've been without it. It certainly was a great ice breaker to meet chicks! Here's the one that told us where to go so Stu could sing in public:
Here's the chicks we managed to get a condom from:
You wouldn't believe the number of chicks I went up to at the pubs along the "strip", virtually NONE had a condom! So much for schools teaching safe sex! One chick would only give up her condom for a round of drinks, of course we told her to get lost. Ironic that she had a condom really, because from how I remembered her looking, she wasn't going to be using it that night... but anyway!
Here's some random, I can't remember why we took a pic of her:
And here's Cullen and I chatting up some more birds in order to get them to help us with some task on Stu's shirt... that or we were just chatting them up:
Of course, what Stag do would be complete without a trip to the strippers!
I did a whip around to get Stu on stage so he could complete the task I added moments before on his shirt. No worries, it all started off fantastically with her stripping down, covering herself in shaving cream and rubbing herself all over a topless Stu. Things started to get interesting when she brought out a bucket of ice and candles. She lit the candle and started dripping wax over herself and Stu. "Cool" we thought, then she stubbed the burning candle out on Stu's chest!!! "Freaken hell!" I thought "that looked pretty realistic, I wonder if it was a trick candle?!". Straight after she stubbed the candle out she grabbed the bucket of ice and chucked it down Stu's undies, much to the amusement of us all. Then she got stu to hold one of the strippers rails, grabbed his belt and asked us how many times she should smack Stu "FIVE OR TEN LASHINGS BOYS?!". Of course "TEN!!! TEN!!!" was yelled out by us all, so she pulled her arm right back and brought the belt down across Stu's arse with an almighty **CRACK**, "OHHHHH" we all said as Stu ran around the stage clutching at his butt. ****CRACK**** went the belt the second time, whereby I started yelling out "FIVE, JUST FIVE LASHINGS WILL BE ENOUGH" with the thought of "hmm, I ultimately responsible for getting Stu to his wedding in one piece". ********CRACK******** went the third smack, layering itself across the marks that the other two whacks had left, complementing the paintball welt quite nicely. Stu was basically squealing like a girl and running around the stage at this point and I honestly couldn't blame the man so I yelled "OK, THREE IS ENOUGH, Stu, get off stage while you still can!". Stu grabbed his pants and off we all went.
Lucky Stu was drunk enough to dull most of the pain, he made an amusing sight after:
The rest of the night just involved getting even more tanked and carrying on like drunk idiots as usual:
In the morning we got to see the aftermath of Stu's injury's that the whore gave him. As it turns out the candle gave Stu a nice 3rd degree burn on his chest. Here he is having just taken off the bandage that the doctor put on him:
And if you're REALLY sadistic, click here to see a close up :-) Warning, it's not pretty!
Well Stu, at least you have a permanent reminder, probably for the rest of your life of your Stag do!
Right, now here's the video of parts of the night!
medium-res (via Google, recommended)
By Tony Baker: email