The Toilet Scam



Back when Crazy, Matt and I went to the V Festival, we went out the first night into town to get on the piiss (as you do).

The drunken stories were flying around as usual and Matt mentioned (after coming back from the toilet) one where him and a mate had a competition to see just how much of the toilet attendants stuff they could use without paying. The obvious extension of this was a dare to Crazy and I...

WEEEEELLLL, I'm not the sorta person to turn down such an obvious drunken stunt. We couldn't convince Crazy to join in but did manage to convince him to video Matt and I doing it...

Moral stance on this: Yeah, I've been called a baastard for doing this to some poor guy just trying to make a buck, but hey, I caught this guy peering over the toilet cubical doors at people (perhaps looking for drugs, I dunno) and the total amount of material we took from him probably amounted to about 50p. I really dislike toilet attendants too. Mum taught me real well on the best way to wash my hands and toilet attendants in pubs always in your face and try and make you feel guilty for using their soap and towels after taking away the supplied ones. And yeah, I can just be a baastard at times...

Points system:

1 point for getting him to turn on the taps, give you a paper towel, take your paper towel, etc.

1 points for using cologne, 2 points if you spray under your shirt.

5 points for taking lollypop, chewing gum, etc.

5 points for any "joker" manoeuvres, e.g. I get him to look after my beer for me right at the beginning.

double points if the toilet attendant does any of the above for you.


Here's what went down!

The Toilet Scam: low-res and medium-res (via Google, recommended)


By Tony Baker: email