Dumbass(s) #3



Man, it's been a LOOOOONG time since I posted a Dumbass page, which surprises me.

Last Sat we went to Temple Walkabout to watch the rugby. Unfortunately, the All Blacks lost to the damn Saffa's. A-R-S-E. If there is one country I hate losing too more than any other, it's South Africa. Yep, I'd rather lose to Australia than them.

We still had a great time (you can see Ian, Meels, Tania, Grant, Robyn, Shannon, Jame's eye and me):

Here's Matt and Ian:

If you're wondering why Crazy isn't in any of the photos for a change, it was because he thought he could turn up to an extremely popular pub, showing an extremely popular game, at 2pm in the afternoon (as the game was starting) and just waltz on in. Unfortunately there was a 3 hour queue a block long at this stage (I asked the bouncer). But Crazy isn't the dumbass on this page, he's just crazy.


You can imagine just how vocal the Saffa's were watching themselves win for a change, especially the guy pointed out in this pic:

He had people in a pub 5 blocks away telling him to "SHUT THE *&%$% UP!!!!". Seriously, I saw some of the TV screens start to crack like a wine glass next to an opera singer as he was screaming some form of distorted garbled drunken chant.

But he's not the dumbass either, I'm getting to that... slowly I'll admit.


After our humiliating defeat (exact score as SA vs Oz actually, 22 - 16) we took off to the Queen Mary to console ourselves and escape the torrent of jibes that we knew we were gonna get if we stayed there.

Dennis (who wasn't with us) was equally gutted. In fact, here is a copy of a voicemail he left on my phone. Rather amusing as he's not too bad at imitating a Saffa :-)

We tried hard to cheer ourselves up, alcohol took care of that too:

After plucking back our courage, we returned after several hours to the Walkabout (Crazy in tow this time, James, Nic, Robyn, Crazy, Tania, Meels, me and Grant):

and continued to drink ourselves silly.

Now I have to admit, I know heaps of South Africans (well, one actually, Nic) and of all the South Africans I know, they're awesome. But as always, you meet exceptions, and here's several:

About 9pm in the evening I went to the bogs (as you do) to reduce the pressure in my bladder that the snakebites were having. As a wave of extreme satisfaction was coursing through me at the urinal, I overheard a Saffa next to me talking to his mate. Here's how it all went down as clearly and accurately as I can remember:

Saffa1: Man we kicked those Kiwi's arse, eh?!

Saffa2: Yeah, mate, annihilated them, fu<k we RULE!

(Me: *sigh*)

Saffa1: I KNOW, I've never seen the All Blacks play as well as well as that before and we STILL *wasted* them.

(I couldn't take any more of this and turned towards them mid-stream)

Me: I'm sorry, have you ever seen the All Blacks play before?!

(look of surprise and drunken dumbfounded expression on their faces)

Saffa1: AY?! Where are you from?

(Me: Looked down at my black T-Shirt with "All Blacks, New Zealand" and a silver fern written across it, read it and looked back up at them)

Me: Ummmm, I'm Australian?!

(smoke comes out of their ears as I see cogs slowly turning behind glazed over eyes. I'm almost ready to take a punch from them here, didn't stop me peeing though, probably encouraged it)

Saffa1: FU<K MAN!! You're soooo STUPID! Man, you're dumb, why would you wear an All Blacks top if your AUSTRALIAN!!!

Saffa2 & Saffa3 in unison: YEAH MAN! GOD YOU'RE SOOO STOOOOPID!

(Me: *deep sigh*, tuck man-hood back in pants after expelling 5 snakebites, think it's best not to say anything more to these guys, turn and wash my hands)

Saffa1, Saffa2, Saffa3 in unison: Ha ha ha ha, what a dumbass, stooopid Australian.

(me: not even bothering to look back at them, turn and start walking out the door)

(Saffa3 comes running up to me)

Saffa3: SERIOUSLY, bro, come-on, why are you wearing an All Blacks top if you're an Auzzie?

Me: You and your boys design rocket ships for a living, do ya?

(Saffa3: Eye's glaze over again, more smoke from ears, etc, obviously can't understand what I'm getting at here)

Saffa3: You're sooo stupid, man you're soopid, dumb Australian!

(Saffa3: turns and walks back to mates laughing his head off)

(Me: walk out of the bogs, shaking my head in disbelief)


And there you go, ladies and gentlemen, true dumbasses (not sure if there is enough 's' in that word I just made up or not...).

The rest of the night was as un-eventful as can be expected at the Walkabout after everyone at the pub had already consumed enough alcohol to drug the entire continent of Africa, here's a couple more pics, this one showing what my T-Shirt looked like (showing James, Nic, me and Richard):

And here is some complete random. I'm really hacked off that his hair didn't come out in the photo, he had this awesome Afro wig on. I always love and respect people with Afro wigs for some reason:

Then end.

By Tony Baker: email