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23/12/09

Crazy sent this amusing vid to me of a poor girl burying her goldfish...

Cuzzy Tania sent me a link to a news article about nude cyclists getting in trouble with the law... for not wearing helmets ;-)

20/11/09

Sheldon sent me this link to SpongeBob Square Pants Burger King Commercial, we think we've found Crazy's new job... ;-)

Also, Crazy emailed me a link to these two Onion videos:

Apple's new laptop with no keyboard

Boy finds own real life ET

29/10/09

Mum sent me the following:

Hi hon, I was watching this video, thinking, there’s nothing funny about this, when all of a sudden, it got funny.  Typical new Zealand males, that’s all I can say.

Luv mum

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EY8vziVXQCE

And there must be something in the air in NZ spring time which makes people go crazy, this one from Cuzzy Tania:

http://www.stuff.co.nz/oddstuff/3008651/Mystery-lump-on-beach-mistaken-for-alien

Mystery lump on beach mistaken for alien

By JEFF TOLLAN - The Timaru Herald

JOHN BISSET/ The Timaru Herald

CREATURE FROM THE DEEP: Rose Fraser was baffled by this find on Temuka's Browns Beach yesterday. It turned out to be from the top of a sperm whale's head.

 From the briny depths of the South Pacific has come a massive ... something; which has parked itself on the stony shoreline of a Temuka beach.

Rose Fraser was walking along Browns Beach yesterday morning when she spotted the lump of stuff.

"I first saw it from a distance and I thought: 'That's a big white rock on the shore line ... that wasn't there four days ago'." As she got closer to the thing she thought it could be a piece of driftwood – a really big bit of driftwood – but upon reaching it, Miss Fraser's thoughts turned from sea to sky.

"I must admit, I thought: 'Heck, this is an alien'. It looks like it's got big ribs coming out of it, but it looks like they could be tentacles, so I don't know."

Cautiously, and ready to run should the thing suddenly leap into life, Miss Fraser lobbed a rock at it, then prodded it with a stick. Whatever it was, it sat there, not moving. All it did was emit a slight odour.

After Miss Fraser rang The Timaru Herald, a photo of the woolly, stringy object was sent to the Department of Conservation in Wellington, who sent it to Niwa and Te Papa. It was also sent to Otago University's whale experts.

After a flurry of emails a consensus was reached.

It was the top – essentially the stuffing – of a sperm whale's head.

As the blob was soft tissue, compartmentalised and big, it was likely to be the large spermaceti organ and "junk" of a sperm whale, probably male.

Those structures deal with sound beam focusing in sperm whales and related whales and dolphins and were also filled with a straw-coloured oily wax called spermaceti or case oil.

It is not yet known what will happen to the blob of whale.

Tania commented:

I just think it’s hilarious that Mrs Fraser wasn’t too sure of her Alien identification…”…. It looks like it's got big ribs coming out of it, but it looks like they could be tentacles, so I don't know."……

It mustn’t have looked like the other Aliens she has accurately identified?

23/10/09

Dave (yep, Crazy's bro) sent me a link to this video, saying:

Heya Tony,

That screened on telle last night here from the 'Police 10-7' show, quite amusing.

I have to agree :-) Safer communities and all that!

16/10/09

If you ever wanted to see a bird smiling as it shags a dude's head, then check out the video below, DAMN funny (thanks Karin!)

05/10/09

Holy freaken craap! Stuart sent me a link to Charlie the Unicorn video:

I don't know of many words that could be used to describe it, but I'm pretty sure "acid" would be one of them... The only thing that might be better is "Charlie the Unicorn 2":

And here was me thinking the "Badjelly the Witch" was as trippy as it could get...

28/09/09

Petra sent this link, of driving in to an oncoming dust storm in Broken Hill:

22/09/09

Ian sent around the following, with the comment "Oh so true. I have already forwarded it to Matt and Stef…". Muah ha ha ha!

AUSTRALIAN MANUFACTURED CABINET FOR SALE 

Cabinet for Sale - details below 

DISPLAY CABINET, one of the most elegant and functional display cabinets currently on the market. 

To give indication of size of the Cabinet can hold the following:

o       Rugby League World Cup 
o       Rugby Union World Cup 
o       International Rules Trophy 
o       Tri Nations Trophy 
o       Super-12 Trophy 
o       Trans-Tasman Touch Football Trophy 
o       Davis Cup 
o       Hockey World Championship Trophy 
o       Bledisloe Cup.
o       Ashes urn.

All these trophies are now overseas and the Cabinet is excess to requirements.   

To make an offer call R Stuart, R Ponting, S Mortlock or P. Fitzsimons who once commented

"The Australian Cabinet is groaning under the weight of all the trophies!"   
 
They can be contacted on: 1800-LOST-THE-LOT

17/09/09

Who doesn't like country music? you?! Well, I suggest you watch this video then! Thanks Petra :-)

Cuzzy Tania (the infamous cat pervert) also sent around this amusing shot of Patrick Swayze and Kayne West:

Personally, I think Taylor Swift should be buying Kayne West a huge present, who knew who the fu<k she was before his stunt?!?! Can anyone else name someone who got an award at the MTV Video Music Awards off the top of their head?

24/08/09

Shea sent me this link to the funniest Fringe Festival jokes:

• 1) Dan Antopolski - "Hedgehogs - why can't they just share the hedge?"

• 2) Paddy Lennox - "I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: 'This could be interesting'."

• 3) Sarah Millican - "I had my boobs measured and bought a new bra. Now I call them Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes because they're up where they belong."

• 4) Zoe Lyons - "I went on a girls' night out recently. The invitation said 'dress to kill'. I went as Rose West."

• 5) Jack Whitehall - "I'm sure wherever my dad is; he's looking down on us. He's not dead, just very condescending."

• 6) Adam Hills - "Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex. You know you're going to get it, but it's going to be rough."

• 7) Marcus Brigstocke - "To the people who've got iPhones: you just bought one, you didn't invent it!"

• 8) Rhod Gilbert - "A spa hotel? It's like a normal hotel, only in reception there's a picture of a pebble."

• 9) Dan Antopolski - "I've been reading the news about there being a civil war in Madagascar. Well, I've seen it six times and there isn't."

• 10) Simon Brodkin (as Lee Nelson) - "I started so many fights at my school - I had that attention-deficit disorder. So I didn't finish a lot of them."

and the worst:

 Carey Marx - "I'm not doing any Michael Jackson jokes, because they always involve puns about his songs. And that's bad."

 Frank Woodley - "I phoned the swine flu hotline and all I got was crackling."

 Alex Maple - "Michael Jackson only invented the moonwalk so he could sneak up on children."

 Phil Nichol - "She's got a face like a rare Chinese vase - minging."

 Alistair McGowan - "I've just split up from my girlfriend, which is a shame, because it was a long-standing arrangement. Perhaps if we'd sat down a bit more..."

24/07/09

Shea sent around this link to a 42 Below vodka advert about Wellington. 5 stars on you-tube, it's fantastic

08/07/09

Chris sent around a link to this NZ Short Movie, Two Cars, One Night.

Tania was nice enough to send around a link to a scientific web site about Man Flu

27/06/09

Karin sent me what has to be the best freaken video I've seen in a long long time. The literal version of Total Eclipse of the Heart. Seriously, amazing.

26/06/09

Wow, Michael Jackson has just died at the age of 50 from a heart attack!

Reporter in the field, cuzzy Tania says:

Reports are coming through that Michael Jackson has stated in his will that he is to be melted down and made in to toys so that the kids can still play with him...

Dennis thinks there's fowl play involved, saying:
"I was thrilled when i heard he was doing this tour...its just bad, off the wall even"
he's investigating everyone he can find in response to MJ's death, starting with the man in the mirror.

Kent looks like he may in some way be involved with his death, he said "I was asking him to change his ways, but who knows, all I do know is, don't blame it on the sunshine, blame it on the boogie, his heart just couldn't beat it".

Further quote from Kent:

MJ was "Gone too soon". We have to all "Come together right now", "keep the faith" and "remember the time" that we all spent listening to to his "bad" ass songs.

Andrew just can't believe it, he's clinging on to false hope, saying "yeah, still could be a false alarm, maybe they mistook a mannequin for him"

Personally, I've just found out that tickets to see one of Michael Jackson's 50 concerts at the O2 here in London are now priced reasonably, and I've heard the IRS is desperate enough for money that they're pointing out Michael Jackson doesn't need embalming fluid.

Yep, hearing of his death is something you probably won't forget, people will be saying:
Where were you when you heard about Diana's death? "Do you remember the time" you heard about Michael Jackson's?!

OK, I've gotta stop now... Shamon

Right, that didn't last for long, here's the WORST MJ jokes:

Apparently the last words he uttered as they were putting him into the ambulance outside his house were "children's ward please..."

He didn't have a heart attack as reported. They found him in the children's ward having a stroke

Michael Jackson wants to be cremated and put in to kids cereal boxes, so he can go through the ass of 5 year old boys one last time.

16/06/09

Petra sent around this video, How to lose your job as a TV interviewer

05/06/09

Here's a joke from Petra:

Skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and Says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown."

The white man faints and falls to the floor.

The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him.. The big guy says: What's wrong with you?"

In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"

The big dude says: "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me...... I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch dick, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown."

The small guy says: "Turner Brown?!....Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, Turn around!"

16/05/09

Well, I was WRONG about people not wanting to see a video of me falling in to a river (if you also wanna see the pictures, go here) and was WRONG about thinking people would say "OH NO! Poor Tony! Perhaps I should send him a dozen beers in the hope of making the poor guy feel better! man, I would've needed an ambulance to take me away from a crash like that, Tony's so tough!"

In fact, people think it's funny! I know, I can barely believe it myself. From Cullen:

That has 2 b the funniest shit I have seen in a long time. And let me say that 5 stitches doesn't make a cut, it's a scratch. I wish I was there 2 see it unfold

01/05/09

Becs and JP have both sent this around, titled
Where Pig Flu Came From:

30/03/09

Hoo, wee, been a long time since I added anything here!

To make up for it, here's a video of Sony's latest product... warning, contains a LOT of swearing, if you planning on cranking this up at work!

Cheers, Petra.

29/01/09

Kent sent around a link to the best complaint letter ever. Well worth a read, with pictures!

19/01/09

My boss forwarded  this around:

Subject: School Prank

Who says Today's Kids aren't smart ??????? I wish I'd thought of this...

At a high School in Montana a group of high schoolers played a prank on the school. They let three goats loose in the school. Before they let them go they painted numbers on the sides of the goats.. 1,2,4. Local school administrators spent most of the day looking for #3.

12/01/09

My Auntie send me this video (well, more sound) file of a telemarketer getting fooled by the person he rang. I'm pretty sure I've heard it before, but deserves posting again, as it's bl00dy brilliant!