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09/10/08

Everyone has herd the "Only in America" saying, well, after living overseas for the past 8+ years, I can safely say there is a "Only in New Zealand" saying too. Case in point:

Couple argue over custody of possum
By KATHRYN KING - The Dominion Post | Thursday, 09 October 2008
The fur was flying as police were called to a domestic dispute when an estranged couple fought over who would get custody of their pet possum.
But the pair could find themselves caught in the headlights for harbouring a notorious pest.
Hamilton police charged a woman, 21, with assault after she allegedly kicked her way into her former partner's house yesterday and then kicked him. The dispute was over custody of the possum, which has been left in the man's care.

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Also, Bec's sent around this goodie (when I was reading it I was imagining my Uncle Lee saying it, he loves telling these sorta jokes):

Three couples were playing golf together. They were Swedish, Irish and, Scottish. The Swede's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.

'Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any skivvies?', Ole demanded. 'Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.'

The Swede immediately reaches into his pocket and says, 'For the sake of decency, here's a 50. Go and buy yourself some underwear.'

Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she, too, is wearing noundies.

'Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers. Why not?' She replies, 'I can't afford any on the money you give me.'

Patrick reaches into his pocket and says , 'For the sake of decency, here's a 20. Go and buy yourself some underwear!'

Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it.

'SweetmudderofJaysus, Aggie! Wheretafrigginhell areyerdrawers?' She too explains, 'Youdinna give me enough moneyta be able taaffarrdany.'

The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, 'Well,fer the love 'o decency, here's a comb..... Tidyyerselfup a bit.