Pete sent me this fantastic collection of photos titled "It's the detail the kills your photo"
My cuzzy, Tania, sent me this:
Bono is at a U2 concert in Glasgow when he asks the audience for some quiet.
Then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands.
Holding the audience in total silence, he says into the microphone...
"Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."
A voice from near the front pierces the silence...
"Well, bloody stop it then!"
Crazy sent in this link which I think you could only really enjoy if you're in your late 20's early 30's and from NZ. GO "WHAT NOW!" and I would've KILLED for that "Pre-computer 1000" 20 years ago... I mean hell, it had BASIC built into it! God help me if I wouldn't type this program into it to fill up its one line display over and over again:
10 PRINT "Tony Rulz"
20 GOTO 10
Crazy sent this in a while back:
A woman in an Adelaide
restaurant suddenly began to cough. After a few seconds it became apparent
that she was in real distress, and two locals, Kenzie and Bryan sitting at
the next table turned and looked at her.
“Kin ya swaller?” asked Kenzie.
The woman signalled “No!” desperately shaking her head.
“Kin ya breathe?” asked Bryan.
The woman shook her head “No!”
With that, Kenzie walked up behind her, lifted up the back of her dress, yanked down her knickers and ran his tongue up and down the crack of her arse.
This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again.
Kenzie swaggered back to his table and took a deep swig of his beer. Bryan said in admiration “Ya know Kenzie, I’d heard of that bloody Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but that’s the first time I ever seen somebody do it!”
Setting new records for jokes in very bad taste coming in, I was sent this about poor Steve (RIP):
Steve Irwin should have known better than to go swimming without sunscreen... it protects you from those harmful rays