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25/04/08

Bridget and I moved in to our new place last Fri (1 min walk to Putney Overland).

Here's the view from the front door when I got home last evening at twilight:

23/04/08

You can file this under the "only in the UK" folder.

A person I know is trying to register with a new doctor. Their previous doctor forwarded the wrong records to the new doctor.

You'd think it would be a case of the new doctor ringing up the old doctor and asking them to resend the correct records, but no.

The person I know has just had a phone call from the new doctor, telling them that they have to send in their birth certificate as well as proof of their previous address even though they have been living at their current address since the age of 4!

I'd shake my head in disbelief, but it's such a typical story over here.

17/04/08

OK, I'm posting this like to a video of a dude winning a big wave competition because it's pretty cool.

What I don't get, is that the reported says: "despite coming dangerously close to a wipe out, he held on to scoop the award".

The video clearly shows him getting blasted in to the side of the wave and cart wheeling through the air to get cleaned up by the rest of the wave!!! Damn, I'd hate to see a real wipe out if THAT doesn't count as one...

If ya wanna see a pretty cool big wave surfing vid, check out this one.

My favourite quotes out of the video:

A fall in a wave like this one means almost certain death.

It was only like 12 to 15 feet but real glassy.

Unfortunately you never really know what your limit is until you cross it.

14/04/08

Ay up govnr, I passed the 'life in the UK' test last Fri (the one the UK home office makes you sit to prove i can read and understand English).

Bottles of bubbly to be opened over this surprise achievement, no need for my honours university degree with this puppy in my hand.

One step closer on the road to not being booted out of the UK on the 28th May. Debating if this will be a good or bad thing at any rate...

10/04/08

OK, I nearly had a stroke this morning when I read the BBC. My recent moaning has strongly centred around just how shiit the UK is at sorting out basic things like, oh, baggage handling at a brand new multi-billion terminal (not working because baggage handlers weren't shown how to log on to PC's), etc, etc, etc...

But THIS article has totally spasticated my brain to a whole new level:

Teacake set to cost taxman £3.5m

The UK Treasury is facing a £3.5m bill, because of VAT wrongly imposed on a Marks and Spencer teacake, the European Court of Justice (ECJ) has ruled.

Customers paid VAT for 20 years before the authorities accepted the product was a cake which does not command VAT.

The UK argued that paying back the total sum would "unjustly enrich" M&S as customers had paid the money.

The ECJ ruled that, in principle, VAT had to be repaid in full, but left the final decision to the British courts.

That decision will be taken by the House of Lords, which is likely to rubber-stamp the ECJ's ruling.

Marks and Spencer gave a cautious response.

"It does look encouraging. However, it is a complex matter and we are reviewing the decision of the ECJ with our advisers," a spokeswoman said.

WHAT THE FU<KEN WHAT?!!!!!

Are you telling me it took TWENTY FU<KEN YEARS for authorities to work out that a teacake was a cake?

Seriously, if you were an MP and someone said "oi, stop charging vat on teaCAKEs in case you have to refund it!" wouldn't you have to be the most greedy baaastard in the world to then go "nah, tell granny she can fu<k off and bl00dy well pay vat on the teaCAKE she has each morning with a cuppa"?!?!?!

How fu<ken hard would it have been to wander down to M&S to bl00dy well buy one to find out? I mean it has the freaken word CAKE in it!!! TeaCAKE people, teaCAKE!!!!!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

09/04/08

My bro Phil has graduated from Waikato Uni!!!!!

Congratulations bro! I'm pretty stoked for ya!

08/04/08

There are so many things that do my head in when dealing with UK government agencies.

This one just really made me shake my head though, WHAT am I missing here...

On the Wandsworth council WEB site, they have a SIGN LANGUAGE video, telling people of their services...

Why the hell can't def people just READ the freaken web site like every bl00dy one else! Wouldn't it make more sense to have a MP3 describing their services to help the BLIND? Not surprisingly, the video has no sound, so it would be useless to blind people...

04/04/08

Just in case you thought I was exaggerating Crazy's fall (see Dear Diary posting below), Crazy has sent me pics showing the damage.

It's worse when he shows you in person! You can't help but say "HOLY SHIIIIT!!!" when you see it...

01/04/08

I thought I'd post this to serve as a warning to everyone (and for shock value entertainment).

Although I'm posting this on April the 1st, it's not an April fools joke! Happened a couple of days ago. I'll put up a full page of amusing and scenic photos of our Engelberg snowboard trip soon.

John sent out this email:

...I accidentally fwucked myself up on the weekend in Engelberg, Switzerland.

Check out the image enclosed to get a feel for the magnitude of my most recent error of judgement.

I've had to take the day off today, tomorrow - and I'll have to then re-evaluate Wednesday onward.

Basically my lower back, right torso and arm got smashed up (although no tail-bone, skin savaged or bones were broken which is a bonus!).

My whole lower back has puffed up massive and it took me a good three or four minutes to get out of bed at lunch-time as the body wasn't responding to the brains signals; strange sensation. Very scary. Literally was incapacitated (seems much better when upright though).

Anyways; have a giggle at my expense...

Cheers,

John

I replied with this:

Just to clarify the numbers and line that crazy added on the pic I took (which doesn’t really show just how steep everything is, I took the pic pointing the camera up hill). Near the beginning of the line is where crazy decided to detour from the trail that I scouted out and Matt took. I started screaming “NO, NO!!!!” as I knew that what was going through Crazy’s head would’ve been “hmm, fresh untracked powder! I’ll carve THAT up!”.

Crazy managed to stop and fall on his arse at point 1 just as he heard Matt yelling “NOOOOO” as well, but by then it was too late. He paused at that point for about 1 second before he lost traction on the glacier ice just below the wind swept powder and started bouncing and falling down to point 2, snowboard first fortunately...

At point 2 after he had gathered quite a bit of speed sliding down the ice face, his snowboard hit the powdery bit which caused him to perform a couple of sideways cartwheels and flip before he finally slammed in to the power/ice at point 3. He bounced back up in to the air at least once, limbs flailing about uncontrollably as he flipped through the air, doing about 2 summersaults until he crashed back down at that first shadow in the snow. It was at this point I knew I’d have to call emergency services to air lift him out. He continued to roll, flip, tumble through the powder and air until he finally slid to a stop where you can see him with Matt in the pic.

Astoundingly, after only 5 or so second of lying in a limp, crumpled heap in the power, Crazy lifted an arm up, which I’m damn glad he did because at that point I had no idea if he was alive, it was quite a horrific fall to witness. Matt traversed over to him, he eventually sat up and after 5-10mins of rest he very cautiously made his way down the mountain while Matt and I continued the best powder run of the trip.

The pic also doesn’t really give justice to the distance he fell. If you take Matt who is standing up, shrink him down a wee bit more to take in to account how much closer he is to the camera than the cliff and then stack him end to end from point 1 to 3, you’ll have more of an idea.

I’ve also attached another pic showing the overall mountain face that Crazy knew he was going down with an arrow pointing to the point where this all happened.

Crazy, I’ve seen you use up about 8 lives now over the years. You have no more left. Please don’t make any more judgement calls involving safety. Every time you feel pain over the next few weeks, think of what I’ve just said.

Hope you get better soon!

Tony.