(10/12/03)
Master/Slave
If you're in IT, you are no longer allowed to use the term master/slave (e.g. for hard disc arrangement) - well, no longer allowed to use it in L.A.!!!
Yep, more politically correct craap gone crazy one person who took offence to the term (not understanding what it meant) made a complaint which means everyone in L.A. is affected by it. This is not a hoax.
Is it just me or is crazy shiit like this making people more racist because you are pointing out racist bollocks and constantly reminding people about racism? Sure if the floppy drive was instead called a "dirty darkie" or something, I might support the action that this stinking white boy made.
English Rugby Jokes
This from Steve (an Englishman)
"An Australian family of rugby supporters head out one
Saturday to
Do their Christmas shopping. While in the sports shop the son picks up
An England rugby shirt and says to his sister, "I've decided to be an
England supporter and I would like this for Christmas".
His sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him round the head
and
says, "Go talk to your mther". Off goes the little lad with the white
rugby
shirt in hand and finds his mother. "Mum?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm
going to be an England supporter and I would like this shirt for
Christmas".
The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him around the head and
says, "Go talk to your father". Off he goes with the rugby shirt in hand
and
Finds his father. "Dad?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be an
England
supporter and I would like this shirt for Christmas".
The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head and
says
"No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!".
About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading toward
home. The father turns to his son and says "Son, I hope you've learned
something today?"
The son says, "Yes dad I have."
"Good son, what is it?"
The son replies, "I've only been an England supporter for an hour
And already I hate you Aussie bastards."
Beware of my MUM!!!
Yep, my Mum has finally found out how to forward email jokes on to people, so be sure to update your spam black-lists ;-).
To her credit, she's only forwarded one joke so far and I didn't have to open up half a dozen attached email messages to get to it.
If your curious this is it (in all its formatting glory).
Please stop once you realise you have read it 12 times already from other people, love you Mum :-) :
-----Original Message-----
To: 'Tony Baker'
Subject: FW: My time to send a joke
Hi honey, thought you might like this. Sheryn sent it to me so for the
first time ever, I think I've managed to forward a joke on to someone
else. Hope I've done everything right. Let me know if you received this
joke. Luv Mum
-----Original Message-----
Subject: Fw: FUNNNNNYYYYY!!!!!
> > > Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing
this.
> Many
> > Chicago folks DID hear this on the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago.
The
> DJs
> > play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is
called
> "Mate
> > Match".
> > >
> > > The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or
seriously
> > involved with someone. If the contestant answers "yes", he or she is
then
> > asked 3 random yet highly personal questions.
> > >
> > > The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner
(with
> phone
> > number) for vification.
> > > If their partner answers those same three questions correctly,
they
both
> > win the prize. One particular game, however, several months ago made
the
> > City of Big Shoulders drop to its knees with laughter and is
possibly
the
> > funniest thing I've heard yet. Anyway, here's how it all went
> > >
> > > down:
> > > DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever heard of
'MateMatch'?"
> > > Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have."
> > > DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to Orlando,
Florida
> if
> > you win. What is your name? First only please."
> > >
> > > Contestant: "Brian."
> > > DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"
> > > Brian: "Yes."
> > > DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married or you're what?"
> > > Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."
> > > DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please."
> > > Brian: "Sara."
> > > DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"
> > > Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
> > > DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"
> > > Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."
> > > DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"
> > > Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
> > > DJ: "Brian! Stay with me here!"
> > > Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."
> > > DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
> > > Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."
> > > DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"
> > > Brian: "About 10 minutes."
> > > DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have
said
> that
> > if a trip wasn't at stake."
> > > Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."
> > > DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock
this
> > morning?"
> > > Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."
> > > DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"
> > > Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mom is staying
with us
> for
> > a couple of weeks..."
> > > DJ: "Uh huh..."
> > > Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time."
> > > DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
> > > Brian: "On the kitchen table."
> > > DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous
hundred
> > times I've done it. Okay folks,I will put Brian on hold, get this
wife's
> > work number and call her up. You listen to this.
> > >
> > > "3 minutes of commercials follow.
> > > DJ: "Okay audience, let's call Sarah, shall we?"
> > > touch tones.....ringing....)
> > > Clerk: "Kinkos."
> > > DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"
> > > Clerk: "This is she."
> > > DJ: "Sarah, this is Edgar with WBAM. We are live on the air right
now
> and
> > I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now."
> > >
> > > Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"
> > > DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not
to
> give
> > any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you know the rules
of
> > 'MateMatch'?"
> > >
> > > Sarah: "No."
> > > DJ: "Good!"
> > > Brian: (laughing)
> > > Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?" Brian
> > > (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be
> completely
> > honest."
> > > DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah.
If
> your
> > answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to
> Orlando,
> > Florida for 5 days on us. Disney World. Sea World. Tickets to the
Magic's
> > game. The whole deal. Get it Sarah?"
> > >
> > > Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
> > > DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?"
> > > Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to
work."
> > > DJ: "What time?"
> > > Sarah: "Around 8 this morning."
> > > DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"
> > > Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe."
> > > DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to
protect
his
> > manhood. We've got one last question,
> > > Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to Florida. Are you
ready?"
> > > Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
> > > DJ: "Where did you have it?"
> > > Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that, did you?"
> > > Brian: "Just tell him, honey."
> > > DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sarah?"
> > > Sarah: "Well, it's just that my mom is vacationing with us and..."
> > > DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you have it?
> > > Sarah: "In the ass....."
> > >
> > > After a long pause, the DJ said, "Folks, we need to take a station
> break"
> > >