Following my Tribute to Crazy John and Dennis and with Cullen and Hanna ending their HUGE tour around Europe and Africa after living in London and Dublin, I thought it was about time to pay tribute to the man with the self proclaimed yet (at times) deserved title of "Hardest man alive".
The man with "The Mangere Fist", one of the most feared weapons available to man. Merely the threat of it is usually enough to shut any of the boys up from continuing a drunken slurred yabbering at the pub.
Many a story has been told of the Mangere Fist causing immense damage to foes. Probably the most famous involves some poor smart ass literally flying over a meter through the air to his unconscious doom on the pavement after a split second encounter.
Always one of the first to dive headfirst into the fray of any drunken battle to help one of the boys out, usually to his own detriment. Experimentation has shown that it takes a bouncer on each arm or an attack from behind with a pool queue for someone to land a blow on this gladiator.
But this bench-seat-Holden-driving-crate-in-the-back kinda guy isn't all hard, with a heart of gold and always first to buy a round, this 100% pure NZ Kiwi bloke is more likely to stick with you through thick and thin as mud between the tread on your gumboots. Always on the lookout for the boys for just about anything and would give the shirt off his back in a second if you needed it.
However, the most foolish thing I think Cullen has ever done is challenge one of the two key philosophies that I have in life, and that philosophy was:
NOTHING good has EVER come from drinking, Tequila
Don't believe me? Well, perhaps this scale now permanently part of Cullen's head will serve as a reminder not only to himself but to anyone else foolish enough to disbelieve me:
Ouch indeed. Was this from a drunken battle with the mongrel mob all armed with machetes after 8 tequilas?! No. In fact he was safely at home taking a piss before finding out just how hard his bathroom sink really was.
Anyway, bro, myself and I'm sure anyone else lucky enough to call you a mate would just like to salute you and may I present a Tribute To Cullen:
By Tony Baker: email